Merry Christmas, neighbor!

Nope, that rumor you heard ain’t true.  Ol’ Geez is right here still kickin’.  Oh I been busy for sure.  Even ol’ Santa needed some extra help this year.  Some of them elves found out they could go on welfare and didn’t have to work.  I kinda lent a hand.  But I’m back now.  You know I wouldn’t forget 'bout my neighbors.

Gotta tell ya 'bout somethin' that happened a couple weeks ago.  I was comin’ back from helpin’ Santa and I seen there weren’t no 8’ blowup snow globe thing in Jethro’s yard.  He’s been stickin’ that thing out front for ‘bout 3 or 4 Christmases now.  Right there next to his flowering cherry where he hangs all them fake candy canes.  Well sir, I figure Jethro got sick or somethin’.  So I stopped by to check on him.  I was mighty relieved to find him happy and well. 

Jethro says he only put that thing up to please his daughter ‘cause she and her husband bought it to modernize his Christmas display.  They thought the candy-cane tree was too old fashioned.  Says he got tired of that buzzin’ fan all night long and the thing lookin’ like a canvas covered pile of cow manure all day.  Reckon I tend to agree.  Sure glad he’s feeling chipper these days.        

Well neighbor, I want to wish y’all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!  And if you ain’t learned English yet, ¡Feliz Navidad y prospero Año Nuevo!  Now go learn your English!

Justan O. Geezer

Real Americans Don’t Do ‘Holidays’

Howdy Neighbor.  Gotta warn you, I been in kind of what you might call a “Grinchy” mood lately.  Ever since Halloween, most everywhere I go, sales clerks and cashiers have been told to wish everybody a “happy holiday”, not Merry Christmas.  That there’s the problem.  This here is the Christmas season.  Christmas is our nationally recognized holiday.  Always has been.  But it seems there’s some folks among us that don’t like America for what it was and is.  They want to change it.  They invented politically correctness, saying we shouldn’t be offendin’ nobody.

So you say, “What’s wrong with that, Geez?”  Well sir, first off, I ain’t got nothing against change.  A tractor beats a horse any day.  And I ain’t against being nice to folks either.  Unless they’re up to no good, of course.  But there’s more to it then what them political correct people let on.  First off, it ain’t about offendin’ folks.  It’s about greed, pure and simple.  They just want to sell more stuff.  Don’t matter none what the holiday or what the stuff is or where it come from.  Just sell it.  Make money. 

Another thing about this politically correct thing is this: When you change the name of something, it don’t mean the same no more.  If you don’t call it Christmas, then you don’t need to think about the reason for the season.  If it ain’t the Christmas season, then it can be the selling season or the buying season or something else.

This country was based on Christian principles.  Since the beginning, this here country has celebrated Christmas.  The biggest part of us still do.  We don’t celebrate buying season or any other season or day.  If you wanta celebrate something else, move your butt to where they do that.  We celebrate Christmas here!

Well, reckon I got that off my chest.  I feel much better now.  And I’d like to wish y’all a happy and holy Christmas! 

Justan O. Geezer

Blowup Christmas

Well neighbor, Buying Season is pert near halve over already.  ‘Course that would be the Christmas Season for most folks.   Yep, Christmas, exceptin’ in them “big-box stores” and TV commercials.  That’s where they like to call it the “holiday season.”  

Now I don’t mind much if you wanta celebrate your Hanukah or Kwanza or whatever.  That’s your business.  But ‘round these parts, we celebrate Christmas.  That’s cause we still remember the real reason for the season.  By the way neighbor, I ain’t never heard of nobody that actually celebrated a solstice.

Anyway, the season is here and if you ain’t done it yet, it’s time to star draggin’ out all that decorating stuff.  Gotta put up them house lights ‘fore the weather gets real ugly.  The inside stuff can wait a bit.  ‘Course if you’re really into that yard decorating thing, you got a bunch more to do than just put up them lights.  Nobody around here’s got the money for all that fancy stuff.  Just affordin’ the light bill is enough for most of my neighbors.

Now up in them big cities, folks get into that blowup stuff.  They got more blowup toys than Carters’ got pills.  And I ain’t just talkin’ Santa Claus and sleighs and reindeer, friend.  I even seen a blowup North Pole workshop!  And they got snow-globes big enough to block your front window.  Reckon you don’t need a Christmas tree if ya got one o’ them.  But it don’t stop there either.  They got your Mickey Mouse and Mini Mouse, squirrels and chipmunks, penguins, Goofy, Buzz the astronaut and some kinda Sponge Pants Square Bob, or whatever. 

Reckon there’s all sorts of stuff you can buy.  'Course I keep thinkin’ ‘bout that old saying, “A fool and his money are soon parted.”  Don’t think buying all that stuff is gonna help our economy any either, seein’ it all comes from China.  ‘Round here, folks just string some lights along the gutters and put their tree in the front window. Nobody’s about to be wastin’ money on them Chinese blowups.

Schucks, now I forgot.  What holiday was it I was yammerin’ about?  What was the reason for this here season?  Now days, I forget too easy.  But then, I am…

Justan O. Geezer