AARP Ain’t!

Sure is gettin’ on in the year.  Snow’ll be in the air right soon.  And now with most the crops in, more fellas been stopping down at Mildred’s Café these days.  Just this mornin’ ole Jake and his son Carl stopped by to join the breakfast bunch.  As usual, we was jawin’ about stuff like whether to fix wore out machinery or replace it and there was Jesse’s sick heifer.  And old people talk too.  You know.  Aches and pains, doctor appointments and such.  Then somebody brought up AARP.

Now y’all heard of AARP, right?  But, you know, there’s lots of the younguns that don’t know what that stands for.  That’s ‘cause the folks over at AARP ain’t usin’ their whole name no more.  Reckon they don’t want folks to know what that is.  Nope.  Not good for business.  Now that they’re goin’ around recruitin’ young folks that’s only 50, they wanna hide the fact that their real name is the American Association of Retired People.

And that there is why young Carl got all riled up when he heard “AARP.”  He said he started getting’ them “invitations” even ‘fore he officially turned 50!  And he’s still getting ’em.  Says he’s down right tired of gettin’ as much mail from AARP as he gets from them satellite and cable TV companies. Ya know there ain’t nobody gonna retire at 50 years old.  He made a good point there.  ‘Specially with so many “middle aged” folks out of work.  Carl and Jake say they thank the Lord they still got the farm.  Otherwise they don’t know what they’d do.  Goes for most folks ‘round here.  Movin’ to the city wouldn’t be no help.  No jobs there either.

Anyway, we chewed that subject pretty good and answered our own question ‘bout that 50 thing.  We decided it’s about the money.  Yessir.  Their ain’t enough of us old “retired” folks around to pay the bills for ‘em.  They got to be just like the government.  They spent so much and got so big, they need more money just to keep their own jobs.  Clyde, from the bank, says it sounds like Congress... exceptin’ AARP can’t raise taxes.  They had to make money a different way.  Amen, neighbor.

Yep, AARP ain’t.  They ain’t about retired people no more.  They’re about keepin’ themselves going.  Keepin’ their jobs while others are loosin’ theirs.  That’s what I (and the breakfast bunch) think.  But them guys are like me and I am…

Justan O. Geezer

History Lesson for the President

Last Thursday evenin' I was watchin' when President Obama give that speech on his job plan.  Jobs ain't that important to an old-timer like me.  But I'll tell ya neighbor, I been real worried for the younguns that ain't retired yet.  Especially them folks in the cities.

I liked to agree with the need to put folks back to work.  Folks still need work even if them big corporations did send all the factory work to China.  But I just ain't real happy 'bout the way he went about it givin' that speech.  I mean, first off, he just pulled up his soapbox and told everybody he was gonna do it on Wednesday, knowing the Republicans had plans for that day out in California.  That don't show no respect for other folks.

Then he showed he ain't give up that blaming thing either.  Maybe he ain't blamin' George directly no more, but he's still aimin' for them Republicans.  'Course it's plain as the nose on your face that he likes teatotalers even less.  He says Congress oughta stop playin' politics and pass his proposal. Naturally he's meanin' the other folks not his own people.  Now I don't know about you friend, but when somebody wants somethin' from me, he knows enough not to blame me for the problem and then tell me what to do about.  Most folks are smart 'nough to know you don't put vinegar out to draw bees.

That plan of his is supposed to cost $447 BILLION and he said it ain't gonna add to the debt.  So I got a question for you Mr. President: How you gonna do that?  Sure woulda been nice if he'd explained that at least a smidgen.  If this is like other plans, it likely means he wants more taxes or more debt.  Maybe both.

You know, I got carried away and almost forgot what I was gonna say today.  Anyway, don't ya think the President would know his history?  I mean, beenin' a college graduate and a lawyer and all.  But there was one place in that speech where he said Lincoln founded the Republican Party.  Tain't so.  Even I know the Grand Old Party (GOP for short) was started around 1854.  And for you, Clyde, the GOP and Republicans is the same thing.  Somewheres around 1856 Lincoln switched from the Whig Party to the GOP Party.  Reckon lots of folks do that.  Governor Perry done it back in '89.  Well, I hope you got that Mr. President.  'Cause it just don't look good when you mess up like that.

Oh, and another thing that was kinda half messed up.  Lincoln didn't "set up the first land grant colleges" no more than Al Gore invented the internet.  It was up to each state set up their own colleges and education system.  'Course now days, Washington tries to run education the way they want.  Actually, what Lincoln done was sign into law the Morrill Act of 1862.  That Morrill Act was to give each state a piece of government land where they could build their college.  That's how come they got called land-grant colleges.  Justin Morrill got the idea back in 1857 and got Congress to write it into law, but President Buchanan vetoed it in 1859.  Being from Vermont, Morrill weren't about to quit easy.  So he got it goin' again in '61 and Lincoln signed that one into law.

Well, that there's about the end of my history lesson for today.  Reckon the President's damn lucky his name ain't Bush.  If it was, them "news" people woulda been havin' a hoedown about now.  Well that's what I think even if I am...
Justan O. Geezer