Wildlife Idiots

Well neighbor, I been thinkin’ bout what’s happened out there in Depoe Bay, Oregon.  That’s a town that sets right there on the Pacific Ocean.  Ain’t much bigger than Mayberry.  Course it ain’t as quiet.  That’s ‘cause they got a big old 4-lane runnin’ right thru town.  Reckon you might a heard of that road - Highway 101.  The one that’s bout as far west as you can get and runs from Mexico all the way up to Canada.  They got lots of folks in town most the year too.  Tourists.  Depoe Bay calls itself the “Whale watching capitol of Oregon.”  They say some grey whales hang out just off shore for 10 months of the year.

They also lay claim to having the “smallest navigable harbor in the world.”  You can maneuver your bass boat ‘round there easy, but your skiin’ jet boat might get a little tricky.  Ain’t ‘cause the harbor’s that small.  It’s 6 acres.  You see, the problem is that harbor’s loaded with them floatin’ docks from the local marinas!  Don’t believe me?  Go google up a picture, Junior.

Anyway, every 4^th of July the Chamber of Commerce puts on a shindig.  You know, music, prize drawings, sidewalk sales and such.  Been doin’ it for years.  Folks look forward to it.  Naturally, they top it off with a big fireworks show come sundown. 

Well not this year neighbor!  They had to cancel the fireworks.  Seems the US Fish and Wildlife Service said so.  Them fireworks is disturbing the Brandt’s Cormorants near town.  That’s a big black sea bird, Clyde.  Kinda ugly, if you ask me.  It ain’t even one of them “endangered species” or nothing.  No sir.  Them good folks at the Wildlife Service is just doin’ their job and enforcing the law.  That’d be the 1918 Migratory Bird Treaty Act.

So, if I understand right, all that traffic on Highway 101, all them whale-watchin’ tourists and the music and stuff from that 4^th of July party don’t bother the birds none.  Just the fireworks.  Like the younguns put it, “Just saying.”

Justan O. Geezer

A Lesson from Burma

Did ya ever hear of the Burma Road or “flying the Hump”?  Well there ain’t too many of us left to remember it.  I know, I can hear the younguns sayin’, “What’s a Burma?” And “Where’s the camels?”  And even some of my neighbors want to know if I’m talkin’ shaving cream.  I even heard one fella say, “Hump what?”  Well it ain’t got nothing to do with none of that.  Reckon I’ll have to give a history lesson.

Back in WWII, the Chinese was our allies.  That was before them Communists took over and ran the real Chinese out to the island of Formosa.  Well anyway, we was supplying our Chinese friends from India using the Burma Road to get supplies over the Himalaya Mountains.  That was till the Japs took over most of Burma and cut off the road.  It weren’t much of a fight.  The Burmese was easy.  A gun always wins against a pitch-fork.  So then the only way in to China was to fly them supplies from India up and over the mountains.  That’s what got nicknamed “The Hump.” 

Well, that’s a fact, but it ain’t the lesson I was talkin’ about.  Besides, the lesson ain’t for you anyway.  It’s for them politicians in Washington. 

It seems they was startin’ to build this huge power dam in Burma. Of course it’s the Chinese that wants the power from that dam.  And they done a bunch of prodding and give stacks of money to help it along,  The Chinese need more electricity, but they didn’t want the thing in their back yard.  So, they conned Burma into burying whole towns and thousands of acres of good bottomland.  Lots of folks in Burma was against the whole thing.  And rightly so.  They give their government a ear-full.

Now here’s the lesson friend:  The President of Burma just announced that they’re gonna stop building that dam.  Why?  Because, "We have to respect the will of the people as our government is elected by the people. We have a responsibility to solve the worries of the people".  Yessir!  That’s what President Thein Sein said.  He listened to the people of Burma.

You think them politicians in Washington got a clue of what this lesson is all about?  Didn’t think so.  Reckon them folks in Burma got this democracy thing figured out better than us. That's what I think, but I am still…

Justan O. Geezer 

Flawed Folks

The other day, I had to make a trip in to Perry’s Barber Pole.  You know, time to get my ears lowered again.  When I got there, Harry had Clyde Hammond, our local banker, in the chair.  They was jawin' about Clyde's wife Marylou and how every time she goes into town, she comes home with some new piece of clothing she didn't need but just had to have.  Clyde said the closet is so full that half of his things are out in the front closet.  Well you could see that Clyde was puttin' it on the front porch that he considered that to be a major flaw in her personality.  Of course the subject didn't matter none to Harry.  He'll talk about anything to anybody.  

Now you know me neighbor, I kinda like stuckin' my nose into things.  So I commented that, if you think about it, all us folk are flawed somehow or other.  And it gets pointed out to us all the time.  Like all them nature shows on TV.  They like to take us out behind the barn for messin' up the planet or endangering some kinda of snail or something.  And heck, near'y every Sunday, some preacher's up there making it plain that if we don't straighten up, we're headin' straight to hell.  It's for sure there's plenty wrong with me too.  I get told 'bout it near'y every day!    

After hearing that, Clyde kinda simmered down a bit and agreed.  Everybody's got somethin' they ain't right proud of.  Now ol' Harry could see this conversation had just about run outta steam.  Naturally, he couldn't let that happen.  He said just 2 words, "ALMOST everybody."  OK, so it ended up being a bunch more than 2 words when he got done.  He just had to explain to us that some folks can't bring themselves to even consider they ain't perfect.  He named somebody, but I'll do my good deed for the day an' not say who.  But AMEN Harry.  Yep, there are exceptions all right.  

Reckon you know the rest. That conversation was right back up in high gear.  Harry finished cuttin' Cyde's hair... and mine.  They was still at it when I left.  But, you know neighbor, there really are some 'perfect' folks like that.  ....After thinkin' about it some, mostly they're Congressmen and Presidents and such.  Well that's what I think.  As always, I am...
Justan O. Geezer