Merry Christmas, neighbor!

Nope, that rumor you heard ain’t true.  Ol’ Geez is right here still kickin’.  Oh I been busy for sure.  Even ol’ Santa needed some extra help this year.  Some of them elves found out they could go on welfare and didn’t have to work.  I kinda lent a hand.  But I’m back now.  You know I wouldn’t forget 'bout my neighbors.

Gotta tell ya 'bout somethin' that happened a couple weeks ago.  I was comin’ back from helpin’ Santa and I seen there weren’t no 8’ blowup snow globe thing in Jethro’s yard.  He’s been stickin’ that thing out front for ‘bout 3 or 4 Christmases now.  Right there next to his flowering cherry where he hangs all them fake candy canes.  Well sir, I figure Jethro got sick or somethin’.  So I stopped by to check on him.  I was mighty relieved to find him happy and well. 

Jethro says he only put that thing up to please his daughter ‘cause she and her husband bought it to modernize his Christmas display.  They thought the candy-cane tree was too old fashioned.  Says he got tired of that buzzin’ fan all night long and the thing lookin’ like a canvas covered pile of cow manure all day.  Reckon I tend to agree.  Sure glad he’s feeling chipper these days.        

Well neighbor, I want to wish y’all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!  And if you ain’t learned English yet, ¡Feliz Navidad y prospero Año Nuevo!  Now go learn your English!

Justan O. Geezer

Responsibility

Howdy neighbor.  You know, I been ‘round the barn a few times in this here life and I seen a bunch of stuff.  Like back in the day when steam locomotives was hauling darn near everything all over the country.  Maybe you didn’t see ‘em every time, but you’d know that whistle from way off.  And you might even see some black smoke belchin’ yonder.  They sure was noisy and smoky, but they was faster than oxen and hauled a bunch more to boot.  We can thank a fella name of James Watt for them that.  He’s the one that put some wheels under a steam power plant and created a transportation revolution.  Now I ain’t old ‘nough to have met Jim personal, but my hat’s off to him.  He was somebody that saw a problem and a better way and took responsibility hisself to get ‘er done. 

That was a long while back and a long ways from the TV and computers and stuff we got now.  Time keeps a movin’ and things change.  But then a fella once told me, “The only consistent thing in life is change.”  Well sir, he was right… mostly. 

One thing that ain’t changed after near 4 years though.  We still got this President that can’t seem to take responsibility for nothin’, except for killin’ Bin Ladan.  It’s true, he was the boss when it got done.  But you reckon he really had a choice there?  And even that was done for him by them Seals.  Right proud of them boys.  Besides, we had the hounds on Osama’s tail since Clinton was President.  ‘Bout time we caught up with him.

The President been campaignin’ to keep his job for months now.  Seems like he spends more time campaignin’ than takin’ care of business.  Heck, he’s been doin’ that for most of 4 years.  Anyway, seems like he just keeps on blamin’.  It ain’t his fault, he “inherited” all them problems. Says we’re doin’ fine.  Says he’s on the right track to fix things.  He just needs more time.  He says it’s the Republicans and them rich folks thats been slowing down the economy and his “change.”  That’s why he couldn’t keep all them promises he made. 

Don’t reckon ObamaCare got nothin’ to do with it.  It ain’t running up medical costs.  That bailout spending on Solyndra and the like ain’t got nothing to do with it.  Spending so much that the national debt’s gone up way more than 50% just since he took over.  That ain’t got nothing to do with it.  No sir, ain’t his responsibility.

You know, I remember folks hanging a moniker on President Reagan.  They called him “The Great Communicator.”  That’s cause he was right good at talkin’.  But he also took responsibility for getting’ things done even when some weren’t to his liking.  One thing I don’t never remember was Reagan blaming other folks.  Can’t recall even once.  Can’t recall NO President blaming others like this one does.  

Maybe it’s time to hang one of them monikers on President Obama.  One I been thinking on is “The Great Finger Pointer.”  Like the younguns’ say, “Just saying.”  Gotta go do chores.  I still am…

Justan O. Geezer

Dumb Voting

You know neighbor, come Tuesday, I’m gonna have one easy time voting.  Ain’t no need for them cheat-sheets and such.  I’ll be in and out quick.  Round here, everybody knows the candidates personal like.  All them “issues” is easy too ‘cause we been discussin‘em over breakfast or lunch for months.  Nobody knows for sure exactly how your neighbor’s gonna vote, but it don’t matter.  We all know the candidates and all the facts ‘bout them issues.  We can make intelligent decisions.  Reckon we’re right lucky.

Now, you neighbors in the big cities ain’t that lucky.  If’n you’re in a “swing state” it gotta be real bad for you.  All you get is that stuff(I’m being real nice today) on TV.  Bunches of folks ain’t even got a newspaper to peruse any more.  So if it ain’t some candidate bad-mouthin’ the other guy, its one of them “super PACs”  spendin’ their millions to persuade ya to their way of thinkin’.  ‘Course them politicians done it that way the last time they “reformed” election spending laws.  Now they can all lie and say, “weren’t me” at the same time.

Point is, most folks don’t really know squat ‘bout who they’re voting for.  Few folks actually do any homework.  Too busy?  Too lazy? Too tied to one political party or t’other?  Reckon there’s more reasons than Carter’s got pills.  Same goes for the issues.  All makes for dumb voters.

So, you really know who or what you’re votin’ for neighbor?  (Or maybe that there should be past tense if you did that early-votin’ thing).  Remember, if it don’t turn out the way ya like, don’t come runnin’ to me Clyde!

Justan O. Geezer

Income Tax Returns

Howdy neighbor.  I heard Romney finally announced what he paid for last year's income tax.  All I been hearin' since is how he only paid 14.1% while the President paid over 20%.  And how Obama paid almost 50% more than Romney.  Just thinkin' back to when somebody said the our German rocket scientists were better than them Russians German rocket scientists.  Well sir, I reckon Romney's bean counters is better than Obama's bean counters.

All them TV and media folks just keep yammerin' 'bout percentages.  Well, you and me don't never pay percentages.  We gotta pay real dollars.  So, I went and checked up on how much each of 'em payed in genuine greenbacks.
    Romney paid $1,935,708   
    Obama paid     $162,074
That'd be a might more than you and me pay.  And for them folks that's stuck on that percentage thing, Romney paid 1194% more than Obama paid.

You know, I ain't all that worried 'bout these rich guys.  (And yep, Obama made $789,674 so he's one of them rich guys too.)  I just got to thinkin' about all them OTHER rich guys out there.  How much tax (in real money) did they pay?  How much income tax did Warren Buffett pay?  Buffett says he should pay more.  Don't reckon I got a problem with that.  Like the younguns say, "go for it," Warren!

But, how about some of them rich guys that folks don't hear much about?  Like how much income tax did George Soros pay?  And what was Peter B. Lewis's income tax bill?  Sure 'nough like to know.  And maybe them media folks could tell us about the percentages too.  Oh yea, if you ain't heard of these guys, go google  'em, Clyde.
Justan O. Geezer

Maxwell House shrunk my coffee… again!

Howdy neighbor.  Here I go again.  Reckon it was a couple years ago when I last wrote about this here shrinking thing.  You know, where everything you buy in America’s been shrinkin’?  Well, they done it again.  This time they messed with my coffee!

I remember back when coffee only come in bags and you ground it fresh.  Right there in the grocery store.  You’d grab a bag off the shelf, open her up, dump the beans in a hopper and put the bag under a chute.  When you mashed the machine’s button, you got fresh ground coffee back in your bag.  Kinda worked like a silo, ‘ceptin’ there weren’t no conveyor belt.  You had to raise the bag up to the hopper yourself.  It was too high up for younguns, so that weren’t a problem.

Then they started grinding that coffee for you and puttin’ it in tin cans.  They said it was more sanitary that way.  Don’t reckon that was true.  Ain’t never heard of nobody getting’ sick from fresh ground coffee.   ‘Course they charged more for it too.  Said we was paying for them to do the grindin’ for us.  It come in 1, 2 and 3 pound sizes.  But that were a long time ago.  Before they stopped makin’ the 2 pound size, went to using plastic ‘cause it’s cheaper and started shrinkin’ everything.

I always bought the bigger size of my favorite Maxwell House coffee so’s I didn’t have to go into town so often.  Along the way that big size got down to being only 33 ounces.  A long shot from the original 3 pounds, but that’s what it was!  Well sir, the last one I bought come off this big sale display thing they had out there.  Took up half the isle way.  They was showin’ off this new plastic can that come with a big yellow splash on it that said “NEW!” in big RED letters and then under that, “Flavor Lock Pack.”

Well you know them big red letters got my attention, so I took a long hard gander at that can.  Yep, them buggers done shrunk my coffee AGAIN!  Now them cans only got 29.3 ounces in ‘em!  Maxwell House shrunk it OVER 10% this time!  Did they really think folks wouldn't notice?  Besides, how in hell did they ever come up with POINT THREE OUNCES?!  Don’t ya think a sane person would try and keep things nice an simple?  29.3 ounces?

Another thing.  Maxwell House used to have this catchy little phrase, “Good to the last drop.”  They used it on everything, even commercials way back in radio days.  Folks remembered it real good.  Well partner, it ain’t there no more.  Now they get a new saying, “Drops of good.”  What the heck does that mean?  Sure enough looks like they don’t want loyal customers no more.  Only their money.

I was out of coffee, so I bought it.  Next time I’m in town, you can bet your bottom dollar, I’ll be checkin’ out all them other brands.  Even Walmart’s brand.  I say this is gotta stop ‘fore they get down to a one cup can!

Justan O. Geezer