Maxwell House shrunk my coffee… again!

Howdy neighbor.  Here I go again.  Reckon it was a couple years ago when I last wrote about this here shrinking thing.  You know, where everything you buy in America’s been shrinkin’?  Well, they done it again.  This time they messed with my coffee!

I remember back when coffee only come in bags and you ground it fresh.  Right there in the grocery store.  You’d grab a bag off the shelf, open her up, dump the beans in a hopper and put the bag under a chute.  When you mashed the machine’s button, you got fresh ground coffee back in your bag.  Kinda worked like a silo, ‘ceptin’ there weren’t no conveyor belt.  You had to raise the bag up to the hopper yourself.  It was too high up for younguns, so that weren’t a problem.

Then they started grinding that coffee for you and puttin’ it in tin cans.  They said it was more sanitary that way.  Don’t reckon that was true.  Ain’t never heard of nobody getting’ sick from fresh ground coffee.   ‘Course they charged more for it too.  Said we was paying for them to do the grindin’ for us.  It come in 1, 2 and 3 pound sizes.  But that were a long time ago.  Before they stopped makin’ the 2 pound size, went to using plastic ‘cause it’s cheaper and started shrinkin’ everything.

I always bought the bigger size of my favorite Maxwell House coffee so’s I didn’t have to go into town so often.  Along the way that big size got down to being only 33 ounces.  A long shot from the original 3 pounds, but that’s what it was!  Well sir, the last one I bought come off this big sale display thing they had out there.  Took up half the isle way.  They was showin’ off this new plastic can that come with a big yellow splash on it that said “NEW!” in big RED letters and then under that, “Flavor Lock Pack.”

Well you know them big red letters got my attention, so I took a long hard gander at that can.  Yep, them buggers done shrunk my coffee AGAIN!  Now them cans only got 29.3 ounces in ‘em!  Maxwell House shrunk it OVER 10% this time!  Did they really think folks wouldn't notice?  Besides, how in hell did they ever come up with POINT THREE OUNCES?!  Don’t ya think a sane person would try and keep things nice an simple?  29.3 ounces?

Another thing.  Maxwell House used to have this catchy little phrase, “Good to the last drop.”  They used it on everything, even commercials way back in radio days.  Folks remembered it real good.  Well partner, it ain’t there no more.  Now they get a new saying, “Drops of good.”  What the heck does that mean?  Sure enough looks like they don’t want loyal customers no more.  Only their money.

I was out of coffee, so I bought it.  Next time I’m in town, you can bet your bottom dollar, I’ll be checkin’ out all them other brands.  Even Walmart’s brand.  I say this is gotta stop ‘fore they get down to a one cup can!

Justan O. Geezer