Wildlife Idiots

Well neighbor, I been thinkin’ bout what’s happened out there in Depoe Bay, Oregon.  That’s a town that sets right there on the Pacific Ocean.  Ain’t much bigger than Mayberry.  Course it ain’t as quiet.  That’s ‘cause they got a big old 4-lane runnin’ right thru town.  Reckon you might a heard of that road - Highway 101.  The one that’s bout as far west as you can get and runs from Mexico all the way up to Canada.  They got lots of folks in town most the year too.  Tourists.  Depoe Bay calls itself the “Whale watching capitol of Oregon.”  They say some grey whales hang out just off shore for 10 months of the year.

They also lay claim to having the “smallest navigable harbor in the world.”  You can maneuver your bass boat ‘round there easy, but your skiin’ jet boat might get a little tricky.  Ain’t ‘cause the harbor’s that small.  It’s 6 acres.  You see, the problem is that harbor’s loaded with them floatin’ docks from the local marinas!  Don’t believe me?  Go google up a picture, Junior.

Anyway, every 4^th of July the Chamber of Commerce puts on a shindig.  You know, music, prize drawings, sidewalk sales and such.  Been doin’ it for years.  Folks look forward to it.  Naturally, they top it off with a big fireworks show come sundown. 

Well not this year neighbor!  They had to cancel the fireworks.  Seems the US Fish and Wildlife Service said so.  Them fireworks is disturbing the Brandt’s Cormorants near town.  That’s a big black sea bird, Clyde.  Kinda ugly, if you ask me.  It ain’t even one of them “endangered species” or nothing.  No sir.  Them good folks at the Wildlife Service is just doin’ their job and enforcing the law.  That’d be the 1918 Migratory Bird Treaty Act.

So, if I understand right, all that traffic on Highway 101, all them whale-watchin’ tourists and the music and stuff from that 4^th of July party don’t bother the birds none.  Just the fireworks.  Like the younguns put it, “Just saying.”

Justan O. Geezer

Aqui

Well neighbor, today was Election Day here just like everywhere else in the good ole US of A.  And yessir, I done my civic duty.  ‘Course I didn’t want to get into no rush hour what with all the young folks wantin’ to vote before they headed out to work or chores and stuff.  So I wandered over to the schoolhouse round lunchtime.  Right nice.  No waiting at all. 

But let me tell you neighbor, that was the must cornfusing ballot I ever did see.  We was only voting on a mayor and councilman, a few state and county issues and 1 local issue.  They wanted to know if we’d let the market sell beer and wine on Sunday after 1PM.  But that took up 2 of them big ballot pages, front and back!  The problem was I couldn’t even read half of it!

Last time around they had them fancy new computer things.  That weren’t too bad.  Better than them punch the holes things.  But this time, they went back to a mark the circle paper ballot.  Now that woulda been OK by me, if it weren’t half in a foreign language.  Now I know there ain’t nobody in town that can’t speak English.  And I reckon everybody in the county is the same.  Oh there might be a couple migrants around that ain’t got their English down pat.  But they don’t live here permanent, so they can’t vote here (I don’t think).

Well anyway, it took a while to work my way through that thing.  Pickin’ between English and Spanish.  Reckon I shoulda known there’d be a problem when I saw them signs out front of the school.  They said, “Vote, aqui, here” (on 3 lines). 

I think this 2 language stuff is a waste of my tax dollars.  And it’s down right stupid in towns where citizens ain’t got a problem with English.  I say, nobody that ain’t a citizen should be allowed to vote.  AND nobody that can’t speak English should be a citizen.  But what do I known, I am…

Justan O. Geezer

9/11/11

Like most my neighbors, I been thinkin' lately about that anniversary coming up Sunday.  We ain't gonna be "celebrating" the day.  No sir.  Nobody's gonna celebrate the worst thing that happened to us since Pearl Harbor.  But there's gonna be a bunch of remembrances to honor those innocent Americans who was  just living their lives, but happened to be in the wrong place that day.  And we should be remembering 'em.  But I been thinkin' more about the them police and firefighters and EMS workers.  Like our military folks, they went into that hellacious mess anyway.  Also them folks on flight 93 that prevented even more damage by sacrificing themselves.  They all showed what it means to be the "land of the free and home of the brave."

And folks been haulin' out them 10 year old newpaper clippings and pictures and stuff.  And all kinds of pictures been showing up on the internet too.  Lots of flags and eagles and of course them towers.  I even seen one picture of a young muslim girl holding a sign that said, "I am not a terrorist."  I believe her too.  There's good and bad everywheres.  Even in religion.  Like them priests and ministers that molest the younguns.  There's always headlines 'bout them kinds of trouble.  But I got questions for Muslims.  How come we never hear about y'all cleanin' your own house?  How come we don't see headlines about your bad apples gettin' arrested?


Anyway, a couple of them pictures got my attention.  This first one come from the Houston Police Dept. and it don't need no comment.

Reckon I don't know where this 2nd picture really come from.  Can't find nobody to own up to it either.  It looks a might suspicious, like somebody been messin' with it, but I like the idea behind it.  In case you ain't seein' what I do, Clyde, I'll explain.  If you look real hard at the top of that smoke cloud there to the left of the tower, you can see what looks to me like a face.  And just under that it looks like an arm reachin' out to the tower.  

Like I said, I ain't no photo expert so I can't say if it's real.  But I'll tell you neighbor, I like to believe it's the Good Lord welcoming them folks home.
Justan O. Geezer      

No entiendo

No, I ain't moved to Mexico neighbor.  But I reckon that there’s a right good title for what I got to say today.  Fer you gringos, that’s "I don't understand"  And I don't.  Not a bit.  I read where some high school principal in Nevada gave a commencement speech in Spanish.  Now, it's true that he read the speech in English first, before he done it in Spanish.  But the whole idea of readin' a commencement speech, to an American high school class, in a foreign language is just plain wrong, neighbor.

Now I know there's a whole bunch of Spanish speaking folks in this country.  Most are here legal.  In fact, the biggest bunch even come from families that were here long before we was the US of A.  Heck, even me and some of my neighbors speak some Spanish (un poco).  Fact is, we all come from someplace else - exceptin', of course, the native Americans that we run outta town.  But almost all immigrants learned English and made damn sure their young'uns learned it too.  A common language is what gives voice to people.  Language is what unites us folks.  It identifies peoples and countries.

But somewhere over the last few decades, some educated idiots been makin' noise and claimin' we gotta "diversify" and other such BS.  To me, it's really a move to split people and the country by leaving some folks out in the dark.  Not only that, but in the name of profits, businesses are contributing to ignorance by posting signs for stuff in their stores in English AND Spanish.  Guess they never looked to see the consequences up there in Quebec. Or maybe they did and don’t care as long as they make money.

I just believe it's downright un-American.  Even anti-American.  And I'm thinkin' about how all through history, a few people managed to control those who were not able to communicate.  For you, Clyde, that means readin' and writin'.  This multiple language crap just keeps some folks "where they belong" if ya know what I'm saying.  And that ain’t right.

So, no entiendo neighbor.  Reckon I never will.  But I am still...

Justan O. Geezer

Independence Day

Howdy neighbot.  I know I ain't said whole bunch lately, but today there's something real important on my mind.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA!  Somewheres about 235 years ago, some Englishmen decided to dump the king and go there own way.  Some called it the "grand experiment."  We ain't got the same country it were back then, but we're still here. So far so good!  Maybe someday, folks will give up that experiment stuff and call it a success.

This here's also a good time, once again, to thank all them young'uns in the military thats out there protecting our freedoms.  Thanks to all that served in the past too.  Thanks neighbors.

Well that's what I think, even if I am...
Justan O. Geezer