Dumb Voting

You know neighbor, come Tuesday, I’m gonna have one easy time voting.  Ain’t no need for them cheat-sheets and such.  I’ll be in and out quick.  Round here, everybody knows the candidates personal like.  All them “issues” is easy too ‘cause we been discussin‘em over breakfast or lunch for months.  Nobody knows for sure exactly how your neighbor’s gonna vote, but it don’t matter.  We all know the candidates and all the facts ‘bout them issues.  We can make intelligent decisions.  Reckon we’re right lucky.

Now, you neighbors in the big cities ain’t that lucky.  If’n you’re in a “swing state” it gotta be real bad for you.  All you get is that stuff(I’m being real nice today) on TV.  Bunches of folks ain’t even got a newspaper to peruse any more.  So if it ain’t some candidate bad-mouthin’ the other guy, its one of them “super PACs”  spendin’ their millions to persuade ya to their way of thinkin’.  ‘Course them politicians done it that way the last time they “reformed” election spending laws.  Now they can all lie and say, “weren’t me” at the same time.

Point is, most folks don’t really know squat ‘bout who they’re voting for.  Few folks actually do any homework.  Too busy?  Too lazy? Too tied to one political party or t’other?  Reckon there’s more reasons than Carter’s got pills.  Same goes for the issues.  All makes for dumb voters.

So, you really know who or what you’re votin’ for neighbor?  (Or maybe that there should be past tense if you did that early-votin’ thing).  Remember, if it don’t turn out the way ya like, don’t come runnin’ to me Clyde!

Justan O. Geezer

Aqui

Well neighbor, today was Election Day here just like everywhere else in the good ole US of A.  And yessir, I done my civic duty.  ‘Course I didn’t want to get into no rush hour what with all the young folks wantin’ to vote before they headed out to work or chores and stuff.  So I wandered over to the schoolhouse round lunchtime.  Right nice.  No waiting at all. 

But let me tell you neighbor, that was the must cornfusing ballot I ever did see.  We was only voting on a mayor and councilman, a few state and county issues and 1 local issue.  They wanted to know if we’d let the market sell beer and wine on Sunday after 1PM.  But that took up 2 of them big ballot pages, front and back!  The problem was I couldn’t even read half of it!

Last time around they had them fancy new computer things.  That weren’t too bad.  Better than them punch the holes things.  But this time, they went back to a mark the circle paper ballot.  Now that woulda been OK by me, if it weren’t half in a foreign language.  Now I know there ain’t nobody in town that can’t speak English.  And I reckon everybody in the county is the same.  Oh there might be a couple migrants around that ain’t got their English down pat.  But they don’t live here permanent, so they can’t vote here (I don’t think).

Well anyway, it took a while to work my way through that thing.  Pickin’ between English and Spanish.  Reckon I shoulda known there’d be a problem when I saw them signs out front of the school.  They said, “Vote, aqui, here” (on 3 lines). 

I think this 2 language stuff is a waste of my tax dollars.  And it’s down right stupid in towns where citizens ain’t got a problem with English.  I say, nobody that ain’t a citizen should be allowed to vote.  AND nobody that can’t speak English should be a citizen.  But what do I known, I am…

Justan O. Geezer