AARP Ain’t!

Sure is gettin’ on in the year.  Snow’ll be in the air right soon.  And now with most the crops in, more fellas been stopping down at Mildred’s Café these days.  Just this mornin’ ole Jake and his son Carl stopped by to join the breakfast bunch.  As usual, we was jawin’ about stuff like whether to fix wore out machinery or replace it and there was Jesse’s sick heifer.  And old people talk too.  You know.  Aches and pains, doctor appointments and such.  Then somebody brought up AARP.

Now y’all heard of AARP, right?  But, you know, there’s lots of the younguns that don’t know what that stands for.  That’s ‘cause the folks over at AARP ain’t usin’ their whole name no more.  Reckon they don’t want folks to know what that is.  Nope.  Not good for business.  Now that they’re goin’ around recruitin’ young folks that’s only 50, they wanna hide the fact that their real name is the American Association of Retired People.

And that there is why young Carl got all riled up when he heard “AARP.”  He said he started getting’ them “invitations” even ‘fore he officially turned 50!  And he’s still getting ’em.  Says he’s down right tired of gettin’ as much mail from AARP as he gets from them satellite and cable TV companies. Ya know there ain’t nobody gonna retire at 50 years old.  He made a good point there.  ‘Specially with so many “middle aged” folks out of work.  Carl and Jake say they thank the Lord they still got the farm.  Otherwise they don’t know what they’d do.  Goes for most folks ‘round here.  Movin’ to the city wouldn’t be no help.  No jobs there either.

Anyway, we chewed that subject pretty good and answered our own question ‘bout that 50 thing.  We decided it’s about the money.  Yessir.  Their ain’t enough of us old “retired” folks around to pay the bills for ‘em.  They got to be just like the government.  They spent so much and got so big, they need more money just to keep their own jobs.  Clyde, from the bank, says it sounds like Congress... exceptin’ AARP can’t raise taxes.  They had to make money a different way.  Amen, neighbor.

Yep, AARP ain’t.  They ain’t about retired people no more.  They’re about keepin’ themselves going.  Keepin’ their jobs while others are loosin’ theirs.  That’s what I (and the breakfast bunch) think.  But them guys are like me and I am…

Justan O. Geezer