Enrico Caruso was a Vulcan

Used to be there was always something that needed tendin’ around the spread. But in the evening, after all the chores got done, I’d kick back and watch a little TV.  There was one show I liked a lot. That was Star-Trek.  It starred William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy.  Shatner was skinny back then. ‘Course most of us were.  You folks probably don’t know it, but that Shatner fella was a comedian before he got that spaceship.  And the show was pretty funny sometimes.  Partly ‘cause of bad acting and partly from them weird situations Captain Kirk and his Vulcan sidekick got into.


I hear tell they made up a lot of that stuff as they went along.  Like the Vulcan saying of “live long and prosper” and that split-finger greeting thing.  Yep, they just done it on the fly.  Reckon I always thought that Vulcan woulda made a good honest corporation honcho.


Now, years later I find out Vulcans are real!  And they been here among us a long time!  Got proof, too!  You see, the other day I was getting’ stuff together to sell at the Annual Mayberry Community Garage Sale.  Thought I’d see if anybody might want some of my old record albums.  For you young'uns, that’s how we listened to music before iPods and CD’s and cassette tapes.  Yessir, they’re even older than 8-track tapes.


Anyway, I found this one album of opry music. Yea, yea, I know.  What the hell am I doin’ with opera music?  Well, Junior, it just so happens I like opera music.  An’ if you don’t like it, you can just go clean the barn.  Sure’s a lot better than that “cRap” stuff! 


So, I found this album called Opera’s Greatest Moments.  It even has a booklet that tells ya ‘bout each recording.  It’s got pictures of the singers, too.  And that’s where I discovered the truth about Caruso.  This here picture is the famous tenor, Enrico Caruso.  It was taken somewhere ‘round 1920.  Don’t rightly know who took the picture, but he done good.  And it absolutely proves that Vulcans have been around here a long time!

So there you have it.  Caruso was really a Vulcan.  Reckon that’s why he sang so good.  Glad I found that out.  Gotta go now.  Getting’ dark.  Time to set on the porch an watch the sky.
Justan O. Geezer