The "news"

Seems I been hearing a bunch lately about how newspapers are dying out.  They say TV and the Internet are killing them.  Well friends, if TV is to blame, we're deep in horse feathers.  Better watch careful neighbor, cause if newspapers disappear, folks will never get real news.

Sure as the day is long, the news don't come from TV.  Them TV folks haven't “reported the news” since Huntley and Brinkley retired.  Now days all the TV news is telling sensationalistic stories, doing self-promotion and running commercials.  If ya listen real close, they even admit they're a bunch of story tellers.  How many times have you heard: "Here's Sam with the story on that horrendous fire downtown."(Everything is in superlatives.)

Then, just before every commercial break, they have to tell you what they are going to tell you.   The anchor/actor always says something like, “When we come back, we have the story about that runaway train in Springfield.” (By the way Slick, you can put money on that pony being the last story they’ll do.)  

Next, the weatherguy (or girl) is required to ask some dumb question like, “Will the rain continue into tomorrow? Coming up, we’ll tell you.”  Then, the sportscaster has to shout, “So how about them Gophers! Coming up in sports, we’ll have the scores of last night’s game!”  Nop, they sure ain’t reportin’ news, but they gotta fill up the time with something. Naturally, them teasers are followed by a full 3 minutes of 15 second commercials – with at least 2 commercials repeated.  Well friend, if you call that news, you ain’t the sharpest sickle in the shed.

Folks using the Internet for news might have a point.  The Internet does have a whole slew of news “sites.”  Of course you gotta watch for the ones that don't report all the news, just their version of the news.  Too bad there ain't no sheriff checkin’ to see who’s telling the truth on the internet!  Besides, you’d have a hard time haulin’ your computer into the “library,” if you know what I mean.

Reckon I’m glad we still got the Mayberry Post around these parts.  It only comes out once a week, but as their motto says, it’s “Everything You NEED to Know.”  Besides, the old papers come in handy for things like wrapping up stuff when you gotta store it away to make room for new stuff... or as emergency outhouse supplies.


Well, that's what I think, but I am...
Justan O. Geezer