Real Americans Don’t Do ‘Holidays’

Howdy Neighbor.  Gotta warn you, I been in kind of what you might call a “Grinchy” mood lately.  Ever since Halloween, most everywhere I go, sales clerks and cashiers have been told to wish everybody a “happy holiday”, not Merry Christmas.  That there’s the problem.  This here is the Christmas season.  Christmas is our nationally recognized holiday.  Always has been.  But it seems there’s some folks among us that don’t like America for what it was and is.  They want to change it.  They invented politically correctness, saying we shouldn’t be offendin’ nobody.

So you say, “What’s wrong with that, Geez?”  Well sir, first off, I ain’t got nothing against change.  A tractor beats a horse any day.  And I ain’t against being nice to folks either.  Unless they’re up to no good, of course.  But there’s more to it then what them political correct people let on.  First off, it ain’t about offendin’ folks.  It’s about greed, pure and simple.  They just want to sell more stuff.  Don’t matter none what the holiday or what the stuff is or where it come from.  Just sell it.  Make money. 

Another thing about this politically correct thing is this: When you change the name of something, it don’t mean the same no more.  If you don’t call it Christmas, then you don’t need to think about the reason for the season.  If it ain’t the Christmas season, then it can be the selling season or the buying season or something else.

This country was based on Christian principles.  Since the beginning, this here country has celebrated Christmas.  The biggest part of us still do.  We don’t celebrate buying season or any other season or day.  If you wanta celebrate something else, move your butt to where they do that.  We celebrate Christmas here!

Well, reckon I got that off my chest.  I feel much better now.  And I’d like to wish y’all a happy and holy Christmas! 

Justan O. Geezer

AARP Again

Reckon I didn’t expect to be writin’ about AARP again so soon.  The ink hardly dried (or whatever it does now days on these computers) when a neighbor from up north give me a earful.  I’ll call him Paul, just to give him a handle and protect the guilty.  Well sir, Paul’s ‘bout ready to spit nails over them folks at AARP.

First off, he said I should go see the AARP website for proof of what I writ before.  Downright easy to find it, just like he said.  I just typed in www.AARP.com.  Now let me tell you Clyde, I looked all over that website and I couldn’t find the word “retired” no where!  Not once.  Paul was right.  They really are hiding who they are so they can go after younger folks!

 

After all these years, that’s downright disappointin’.  Me and a bunch of my neighbors been members of AARP for a long time.  We get free magazines and discounts on all sorts of stuff.  You can pull out that AARP card in a bunch of places and get a discount of some kind.  ’Course sometimes it’s only good on Tuesday or somethin’ like that, but if you plan it right, them pennies add up.  We tried to get Mildred to give AARP discounts at the Café, but she wouldn’t hear of it.  We keep goin’ there anyway.  Too far to go to a different restaurant.

 We don’t care none, but we all know AARP is in cahoots with them insurance companies too.  So we come to expect a letter from them every couple weeks tryin’ to get us to buy one kind of insurance or another.  Most folks just throw them letters in the trash.  Come to think of it, them folks at AARP spent a lot of postage tryin’ to get us to buy insurance. 

Well anyway, the thing that got Paul so hoppin’ mad was how AARP’s been using his dues money to try and get folks to vote one way or another.  He says they ain’t nothing more than one of them Washington Lobbyist outfits.  He says a while back they even sent him some fancy printed up petitions.  He was supposed to sign and send ‘em back to AARP so’s they could go dump all them petitions on his Congressman and Senators desks.  Besides that, they wanted him to send along some extra money to help pay for what they already done.  The kicker was they went and done that trick all over again a couple months later.  Paul says he got so mad, he called up and cancelled his membership right then and there.  It just ain’t right that AARP takes membership dues and spends it on lobbying. 

Just yesterday I got a letter from AARP. They say it’s time to renew my membership again. They’re even offerin’ to send a free travel bag if’n I hurry up and git it done.  Reckon I’m gonna have to think on it awhile.  Maybe I don’t really need them discounts.  Places here in town don’t give AARP discounts anyway.  Gotta go up to the city for that.  But reckon I’ll miss them free magazines.  Well, that’s what I think neighbor, even if I am…

Justan O. Geezer

AARP Ain’t!

Sure is gettin’ on in the year.  Snow’ll be in the air right soon.  And now with most the crops in, more fellas been stopping down at Mildred’s Café these days.  Just this mornin’ ole Jake and his son Carl stopped by to join the breakfast bunch.  As usual, we was jawin’ about stuff like whether to fix wore out machinery or replace it and there was Jesse’s sick heifer.  And old people talk too.  You know.  Aches and pains, doctor appointments and such.  Then somebody brought up AARP.

Now y’all heard of AARP, right?  But, you know, there’s lots of the younguns that don’t know what that stands for.  That’s ‘cause the folks over at AARP ain’t usin’ their whole name no more.  Reckon they don’t want folks to know what that is.  Nope.  Not good for business.  Now that they’re goin’ around recruitin’ young folks that’s only 50, they wanna hide the fact that their real name is the American Association of Retired People.

And that there is why young Carl got all riled up when he heard “AARP.”  He said he started getting’ them “invitations” even ‘fore he officially turned 50!  And he’s still getting ’em.  Says he’s down right tired of gettin’ as much mail from AARP as he gets from them satellite and cable TV companies. Ya know there ain’t nobody gonna retire at 50 years old.  He made a good point there.  ‘Specially with so many “middle aged” folks out of work.  Carl and Jake say they thank the Lord they still got the farm.  Otherwise they don’t know what they’d do.  Goes for most folks ‘round here.  Movin’ to the city wouldn’t be no help.  No jobs there either.

Anyway, we chewed that subject pretty good and answered our own question ‘bout that 50 thing.  We decided it’s about the money.  Yessir.  Their ain’t enough of us old “retired” folks around to pay the bills for ‘em.  They got to be just like the government.  They spent so much and got so big, they need more money just to keep their own jobs.  Clyde, from the bank, says it sounds like Congress... exceptin’ AARP can’t raise taxes.  They had to make money a different way.  Amen, neighbor.

Yep, AARP ain’t.  They ain’t about retired people no more.  They’re about keepin’ themselves going.  Keepin’ their jobs while others are loosin’ theirs.  That’s what I (and the breakfast bunch) think.  But them guys are like me and I am…

Justan O. Geezer