On the front near the bottom, it said "Fragrance Free" in purdy green letters. Naturally, I had to take a sniff, just to check it out. Sure got me a surprise! It smelled like one of them “musk oil” perfumes. Hotdamn! That company was lyin’ to me!
Right quick, I flipped that bottle 'round and took a gander at the ingredients. Couldn’t believe it all the stuff it takes to make hand lotion. There musta been 30 different things in that bottle. Not only that, they was mostly big fancy words that’d take doctor or rocket scientist to understand. But I gotta admit, never found the word fragrance or perfume or nothing like that.
Ol’ Bernie ain’t fast, but he’s a good Pharmacist. Never heard of nobody in town getting sick or dying from him messin’ up a prescription. And he was true to his word, too. He wrote me out a list of all them ingredients and what they’re used for. I still can’t believe what all was in there. Sure is a bunch of stuff. Well anyway, here’s the list folks. It is one LONG list, but real interestin'. (And don’t you worry none, even Bernie couldn’t pronounce some of ‘em.)
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- Dimethicone (active ingredient) - Used as a "skin protectant.” Also used in making Silly Putty, tub and tile caulks, silicone grease and in the treatment of head lice.
- Urea (aka carbamide) - Waste product found in uric acid. Also used in fertilizer, as a stabilizer in explosives, a “flavor enhancer” in cigarettes and an alternative to rock salt.
- White petrolatum (Petroleum jelly) – a “base” (Used because it is cheaper than glycerol)
- Potassium lactate - An almost clear liquid used to preserve leather book bindings and to adjust pH value in foods
- Stearic acid - A saturated fatty acid from animal or vegetable fats. Also useful in making candles, fireworks, soap and plastics
- Helianthus annous seed oil - (really sunflower oil) Also used to produce biodiesel fuel
- Corn oil - Yep, cooking oil!
- Methylparaben - A popular, low cost food and cosmetic preservative
- DMDM hydantoin - A preservative. Works by releasing formaldehyde into the product
- Titanium dioxide - Used to make white paint
- BHT (Butylated hydroxytoluene) - Antioxidant food additive or preserver. Also used in jet fuel, rubber and embalming fluid
- Magnesium aluminum silicate - A natural clay that contains aluminum
- Stearamide AMP - Chemical that gives the hand cream an opaque, “pearlized” look
- Trolamine (Triethanolamine Salicylate) - An odorless analgesic
- Lactic acid (2-hydroxypropanoic acid) - Used as an antiodidant or to control pathogenic micro-organisms or as a pH adjusting ingredient
- Cetyl alcohol - An emollient and emulsifier made from petroleum or vegetable oil
- Glyceryl stearate - Emulsifier made from hardened vegetable oil and vegetable glycerin mixed with stearic acid
- Glycerin - A sugar alcohol that is used as an emollient (softener).
- Collagen amino acids - Collagen is the main protein in human connective tissue and consists of only amino acids
- Sodium stearoyl lactate - A mixture of lactic acid and stearic acid, which reacts with sodium hydroxide to make sodium salt
- Ethylene brassylate a thick, almost colorless liquid with a sweet musky odor – “provides a silky afterfeel to skin”
- Sodium PCA - A humectant (can absorb water from the air) used as a “moisturizer”
- Carboner - White powder used as a thickening agent
- Disodium EDTA - A chelating compound and “stabilizer” (prevents chemicals from interacting)
- Lecithin - A natural emulsifier/lubricant made from soya or sunflower seeds. It helps in mixing dissimilar liquids and to keep liquids from separating
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Yep, they called it “fragrance free,” but with that Ethyene brassy-stuff in it, sounds more like it belongs in my tractor’s tank. I threw it out. Yep that’s what I done. But then , I am…
Justan O. Geezer
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