You young'uns probably don’t know it, but things used to come in some purdy standard sizes. You know, like a bushel of corn, a pound of coffee, a half-gallon of ice cream or a gallon of paint. There was standard sizes to most everything. Made it down right easy to figure what you’re gettin’ for your money.
Oh sure, there was a few non-standard things like a "bunch" of radishes. But you know'd there would always be 10 to 12 dependin' on their size. And a pickle from the barrel could be different sizes too. But you could always pick the one you wanted. Now days things just ain’t standard no more.
Last week I was told it was time to paint over that flowered wallpaper in the parlor. It been there 'bout 20 years. Kinda needed a goin’ over since the spring house-cleanin's had 'bout washed most of the flowers off anyway. The fella up at the Ben Franklin said a gallon oughta do me 'bout right. Might even have some left over. So that's what I bought.
He also said my trusty old bristle brush probably weren't the way to go either, what with these new fangled paints. So, I bought one of them roller and tray things and a brand new nylon brush for trimmin'. Gotta admit, it did go faster. Things were goin' just fine 'til I started into that last wall. Looked like I was going to be a bit short… and I was.
Now I knew the fella at the hardware wouldn’t goin' to lie to me, so I checked the writin' on the back of the can before I said something. It said a gallon of that there paint would cover 'bout 400-450 sq.ft. Now by my calculations, I needed somewhere's around 370 sq.ft. So I’m thinkin' that old wallpaper must of really soaked up the paint! But that’s when I noticed it, neighbor. That can of genuine Glidden Ultra Hide 1210 weren't no gallon at all! It shrunk! That can was only 124oz. Oh sure, it was close, but still not a genuine 128oz. USofA gallon! And OK, so maybe I still woulda been short a bit, but it sure got me to thinkin'. What else got shrunk?
Oh sure, there was a few non-standard things like a "bunch" of radishes. But you know'd there would always be 10 to 12 dependin' on their size. And a pickle from the barrel could be different sizes too. But you could always pick the one you wanted. Now days things just ain’t standard no more.
Last week I was told it was time to paint over that flowered wallpaper in the parlor. It been there 'bout 20 years. Kinda needed a goin’ over since the spring house-cleanin's had 'bout washed most of the flowers off anyway. The fella up at the Ben Franklin said a gallon oughta do me 'bout right. Might even have some left over. So that's what I bought.
He also said my trusty old bristle brush probably weren't the way to go either, what with these new fangled paints. So, I bought one of them roller and tray things and a brand new nylon brush for trimmin'. Gotta admit, it did go faster. Things were goin' just fine 'til I started into that last wall. Looked like I was going to be a bit short… and I was.
Now I knew the fella at the hardware wouldn’t goin' to lie to me, so I checked the writin' on the back of the can before I said something. It said a gallon of that there paint would cover 'bout 400-450 sq.ft. Now by my calculations, I needed somewhere's around 370 sq.ft. So I’m thinkin' that old wallpaper must of really soaked up the paint! But that’s when I noticed it, neighbor. That can of genuine Glidden Ultra Hide 1210 weren't no gallon at all! It shrunk! That can was only 124oz. Oh sure, it was close, but still not a genuine 128oz. USofA gallon! And OK, so maybe I still woulda been short a bit, but it sure got me to thinkin'. What else got shrunk?
You can bet your bottom dollar I’ll be checkin’ things from now on. Reckon I better quit 'fore I really get worked up. OK, so maybe it is just me, 'cause I am...
Justan O. Geezer
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