Wildlife Idiots

Well neighbor, I been thinkin’ bout what’s happened out there in Depoe Bay, Oregon.  That’s a town that sets right there on the Pacific Ocean.  Ain’t much bigger than Mayberry.  Course it ain’t as quiet.  That’s ‘cause they got a big old 4-lane runnin’ right thru town.  Reckon you might a heard of that road - Highway 101.  The one that’s bout as far west as you can get and runs from Mexico all the way up to Canada.  They got lots of folks in town most the year too.  Tourists.  Depoe Bay calls itself the “Whale watching capitol of Oregon.”  They say some grey whales hang out just off shore for 10 months of the year.

They also lay claim to having the “smallest navigable harbor in the world.”  You can maneuver your bass boat ‘round there easy, but your skiin’ jet boat might get a little tricky.  Ain’t ‘cause the harbor’s that small.  It’s 6 acres.  You see, the problem is that harbor’s loaded with them floatin’ docks from the local marinas!  Don’t believe me?  Go google up a picture, Junior.

Anyway, every 4^th of July the Chamber of Commerce puts on a shindig.  You know, music, prize drawings, sidewalk sales and such.  Been doin’ it for years.  Folks look forward to it.  Naturally, they top it off with a big fireworks show come sundown. 

Well not this year neighbor!  They had to cancel the fireworks.  Seems the US Fish and Wildlife Service said so.  Them fireworks is disturbing the Brandt’s Cormorants near town.  That’s a big black sea bird, Clyde.  Kinda ugly, if you ask me.  It ain’t even one of them “endangered species” or nothing.  No sir.  Them good folks at the Wildlife Service is just doin’ their job and enforcing the law.  That’d be the 1918 Migratory Bird Treaty Act.

So, if I understand right, all that traffic on Highway 101, all them whale-watchin’ tourists and the music and stuff from that 4^th of July party don’t bother the birds none.  Just the fireworks.  Like the younguns put it, “Just saying.”

Justan O. Geezer

Of Sheep, Shepherds & Dogs

Lately I been thinkin’ about that Bible story of the Good Shepherd. It’s one of them parables.  In case you don’t know, that’s where the Good Lord tells a story in terms the folks around Him can understand.  Anyway, this one’s about how a shepherd tends his sheep real good and how they follow where he leads.   Now you know it ain’t really about sheep at all.  It’s about Him leading folks to heaven.

Now if you think for a minute about them sheep, they got it right good, ya know?  They got nothing to do but wander around and they get lead to where they can eat all they want.  They get everything they need.  Yessir, shepherds treat their herds real good.  ‘Course the shepherd’s the only one that knows where the sheep are heading.  Them sheep don’t know they’re gonna end up on somebody’s table.

The shepherd knows what he’s doin’ but he can’t do ‘er all by hisself.  So, he trains some dogs to help keep all them sheep in line and together.  Sure ‘nough makes his job a bunch easier.  Matter of fact, them dogs do most the work for him.  All he’s gotta do is haul them sheep to market.

Maybe it’s just me, neighbor, but I see more than a slight parallel to what’s goin’ on in election politics now a days.  Kind of a modern day parable, ain’t it?  Reckon I just don’t follow that herd.

Justan O. Geezer

Lies

Howdy neighbor.  Reckon I been pretty darn busy lately and been neglectin’ this here blog.  I gotta apologize for that.  I’m gonna try real hard and find more time for jawin’ with you.  ‘Course, lots of folks say things like that, but they don’t really mean it.  But I ain't lyin'.  This here’s the truth.

Fact is some folks just plain lie all the time.  And some tell mighty tall tales.  I always recall a certain President that shook his finger at us on national TV while he was sayin’, “I did not have sex with that woman.”

Goin’ back a hundred years, there was a Shrink name of William James that defined the situation in a highfalutin’ way.  He said, “There's nothing so absurd that if you repeat it often enough, people will believe it.”  There’s been bunches of variations on them words too.  Even that Communist fella, Lenin, was supposed to said, “A lie told often enough becomes the truth.”  But no matter how you put it, some folks just don’t believe the 9^th Commandment ever was.

Now you know me.  I don’t reckom any of them politicians ever learned their Commandments.  So, when I run across this here picture, I just had to “share” like the younguns say.  Looks like somebody named Mogul gone it, but darned if I could find out who that is.

Anyway, you might think ‘bout this next time you’re watchin’ one of them political TV commercials that’s tellin’ you how great some candidate is.  …or what the other guy done wrong.

Hang in there neighbor.  It’ll all be over in just 6 more months.

Justin O. Geezer

Much Is Expected

The other day, President Obama done somethin’ I ain’t heard before.  He quoted the Good Book.  He didn’t get exactly right, but it was Luke 12:48.  “When someone has been given much, much will be required in return.”  Good words, neighbor.  And true today as they was 2000 years ago.

We know the President dusted off the Bible ‘cause he got blasted by Rick Santorum for his claimin’ to be a Christian, but not doin’ much of anything to show it.  Now I ain’t gonna go commentin’ about that.  I been thinkin’ a might different.

What I been thinkin’ is that over the years, lots of folks have quoted the Bible.  Most the time I seen it, them folks was usin’ them quotes to backup something they said or done.  They was trying to show the Good Lord was on their side.  And over there in the Middle East, bunches of them extremists been quoted their Quran to try and justify what they been doin’.  Ever’body is claimin’ God’s on their side.

But if you ponder that Obama quoted, you’re gonna see he was really takin’ another stab at rich folks.  He’s still pushin’ that socialist thing about taxin’ the rich.  Reckon he don’t think it applies to him though.  Most folks would think he’s been given much more than they got.  And most my neighbors consider  the President to be one of the rich ones hisself.  Besides that, he’s been given a education most folks can’t get.  (And we still don’t know how he done that.)  Us folks can’t hardly get loans, but he’s been given a bunch of money. (And we don’t know where it all come from.)  How many other folks, black or white or green, been given as much as he’s got?

To my thinkin’, folks that go quotin’ the Bible oughta look in a mirror ‘fore they open their mouths.  But what do I know, I am…

Justan O. Geezer

Late Night Politics

Howdy neighbor.  Y’all watch any of them late night comedians?  You know, the ones that come on after the late news?  The ones where the only reason the “guests” show up is to push their latest movie or book.  Or, if the guest ain’t doin’ that, they’re drinkin’ buddies or political kissin’ cousins of the host. 

Well, if you do watch ‘em, just skip on down to the next paragraph whilst I explain it to the folks that don’t stay up late ‘cause they gotta get up early for work.  Well sir, first off, a bunch of musicians play this really loud,  really bad noise (they call it music) while some announcer that don't show his face tells you who’s gonna be the "guests" on the show.  Then the comedian comes out on stage while the audience hoops and hollers, just like they been told to by flashin’ red signs.  After the comedian/host gets his ego built up enough, he starts into a “monologue.”   It’s kinda like a stand-up comedy routine, but it ain’t.  That’s ‘cause the guy is reading the jokes off “cue cards” instead of rememberin’ them like normal comedians do. 

Used to was, back in the day, the monologue made fun of some current events or things that was happenin’ around the world.  And sometimes they’d even have jokes about  politics.  Now I’m talkin’ about back in the days of Steve Allen and Johnny Carson and the like.  Them guys was funny and they done it without makin’ fun of folks.  They woulda never thought about attacking folks on a personal level.  We still got some great comedians like that, but they ain’t hostin’ no late night TV. 

Seems like nowadays, all these guys can do is insult folks, ‘specially politicians – mostly cause they ain’t as far left as the comedians themselves.  Basically, these guys just do some variation of the same old  joke every night.  Down right borin’, if you ask me.  Reckon I can’t figure why good folks stay up late for this stuff.  ‘Course, maybe them comedians are just preachin’ to the choir.

Whoa!  Gotta go, neighbor.  Past my bedtime.

Justan O. Geezer