The Audacity of WHAT?

That there is one fancy word that don't get used much, exceptin' on President Obama's book cover.  Most folk heard the Jewish version of that word more often.  That'd be "chutzpah." (the "c" is silent Clyde.)  What it means is (and I'll be nice since younguns might read this): somebody's got a lotta nerve.  Sometimes it's used to talk about somebody who thinks a might too much of himself.  Reckon that'd be the case here.

Them folks at NBC News and a website named Politico set up a debate in California for all them Republican wanta be's.  They got the dates and times all set up months ago.  Now "the Whitehouse" (meanin' the President and his friends), picked the same date and time for a speech.  It was just by "coincidence" ya know.  Now that there's audacity, neighbor.  They decided they didn't need no protocol like all our other Presidents done.  The Constitution says all 3 branches of government are equal, so you don't just announce that you're comin'.  You politely ask if you can come up for a visit.  Just a little courtesy, like callin' up your neighbor before headin' down his way.  But right here it's like he said, "we don't need no stinkin' protocol."   Reminds me of that old Humphrey Bogart movie, The Treasure of the Sierra Madre.  There was these Mexican banditos pretendin' to be the Federales.  And the head bandito says, "Badges? We don't need no stinkin' bagdes." (or somethin' like that).  Anyway, you get the idea.

Not only that, but when Speaker Boehner reminded them about this protocol thing, one "senior House Democrat" (reckon nobody wanted to embarrass him by using his name) said Boehner was bein' "childish."  Sure 'nough sounds to me like we got a sore loser here.  Maybe it was that budget who's gonna blink first match that got him all riled up. 

Now some folks are sayin' Obama is just trying to "upstage" his opponents.  I think somebody needs takin' out back the barn, if you get my drift.  These politicians, starting with the President, need to grow up and quit all the name callin'.  That's what I think, but who listens to me?  I am...
Justan O. Geezer

The Politics of Humor

Mornin', neighbor.  Last night I got to thinkin' about comedians.  Ain't sure why, but that's what popped in my head.  Now I'm talkin' real comedians, not them foul-mouthed fools you see these days in comedy clubs and sometimes on late night TV.  Back in the day, any comedian worth his salt could do a whole 10 minute routine and never say nothing you couldn't repeat to the younguns.  You know, things like "Who's on first?" by Abbott and Costello.  Now I ain't sayin' they're all bad now days, just most of 'em.  Sure 'nough get a hankerin' for more funny lines like, "R-i-i-i-i-i-ight" and  "What's an ark?" in Bill Cosby's story about Noah.

A body can always keep outta them comedy clubs, but if you happen to be up late, they don't hardly bleep nobody on TV these days.  'Course, if I was runnin' the bleeper, I'd bleep all them political jokers too.  Don't matter none which side.  Back when, comedians the likes of Steve Allen, Bob Hope and Johnny Carson didn't need fowl language or makin' fun of people to be funny.  Reckon I don't know if it's the comedians themselves that think they gotta attack people that ain't leanin' the way they do or if somebody else writin' them so-called jokes.  Most folk would be embarrassed to repeat some of the stuff they write.  Or maybe the producers of the show wanta "spice it up" a little.  'Course we know what producers done to TV news.  Or maybe them TV comedians are trying to be like them Hollywood people that disguise their political views as big fancy movies.

Anyway, I don't cotton to this here pickin' on folks just 'cause they got a different political perspective (how 'bout them big words, Clyde).  Somethin' good come of it though.  I get to bed earlier these days and been feelin' better to boot.  Well, gotta get chores done.  That's what I think friend, even though I am...
Justan O. Geezer
    

Corn Crop Crap

The other day, on one of them "news" shows, I heard this young fella say somethying that bent my ear pretty good.  They called him a government expert, so you know'd right there it was gonna be a lot of bull.  Away, he said, “We are expecting a bumper corn crop this year.  That will really help to keep food prices down while at the same time helping farmers and the economy.”   Now, you know lots of city folk thought that was real good news.  But most my neighbors are just prayin' the yield is gonna be good enough to break.  Truth be told, most of 'em think that fella’s been hiding under some outhouse.

Tell you what I think, friend.  I think that fella is from Rhode Island or somewheres like that and he ain't never seen a farm.  He likely just graduated from one of them Ivy League schools with a degree in Political Science.  And even if he was wet behind the ears, the government hired him as a Public Relations Officer.  In other words, he’d actually believe anything they told him to say.

Somehow, I feel obliged to explain a thing or two to that whipper-snapper (and all them city folk that believe what he said).  First off, corn is that tall, skinny, plant with long pointy leaves and long pod things ‘bout half way up the stalk(that's kinda like a little tree trunk ya know).  And when you look out cross a corn field, you shouldn’t be able to see the other side.  That’s cause a good crop gets to be tall as one of them professional basketball players.  Now them brown and tan colored spots ya see out there?  That’s where corn should be but ain’t cause of all the water that set there all spring.  And them areas that’s kinda yella-green color?  If you look close, there ain't none of them pod things on the stalk.  So that ain’t good either.  You're a smart college boy, so you get the picture.

OK.  Now you city folk can take a ride out the country and go see for yourself.  You know what to look for.  Let me know what you think.  I’ll be right here when you get back.  As always, I am…
Justan O. Geezer

Budget Cuts & Blaming

Reckon I'm on a budget kick, neighbor.  Maybe cause I gotta keep tighting my belt so much.  Anyway, I just read somethin' in the Washington Examiner.  Gotta love that internet thing.  Lets me read newspapers from all over.  'Course I got a heap of trouble trying to read that Le Parisien or Nasz Dziennik.  But I manage to find enough English writ papers around.

I was just readin' about President Obama's "non-campaign" trip up in corn country.  They say he's claimin' he "reversed the recession, avoided a de-pression and got the economy moving again" (all by himself don't ya know).  Kinda brings back memories of how Al Gore invented the internet (also all by himself).  Anyway, it didn't take but a heartbeat till he was back to blaming the economy on someone else.  Like them Arab uprisings and Japanese tsunamis and such.  Then the President says, "The problem is that we've got the kind of partisan brinksmanship that is willing to put party ahead of country."  That'd be his way of sayin' the Republicans done it.  Reckon he already forgot how he was vowing to veto any bill where Congress did NOT add more taxes.  And that was right up till 'bout 2 weeks before that famous default day the TV was talkin' about.   That man sure 'nough has a short memory.

OK, 'nough of that. What I really wanted to talk about was how we can get that federal budget back in line.  Reckon I don't really want to know what that "non-political" trip is costin' us.  But did you notice how he's gettin' around while not campaigning?  He's on a bus.  At first that seemed right friendly that he'd take a bus, just like some folk going to the State Fair.  But that ain't no ordinary bus, friend.  That there is "Greyhound One."   It got custom built by the Prevost company.  Yep, them's the folks that make the fancy buses for rock stars and millionaires.  And guess where that bus was made neighbor.  Quebec, Canada!  Guess we don't build buses here no more.  They say the Secret Service paid $1.1 million dollars for that bus.  And they bought a spare one too, so double that.  Must be one hell of a nice ridin' bus.  You'd think they coulda converted one of them yella school buses for a bunch less.  By the way, they didn't say if that price was before or after they added all their armor plating and fancy security stuff.

I know what you're thinkin' Sam, "What's a couple million greenbacks when the country is already trillions of dollars in debt."  Well neighbor, my long-gone Pappy used to say, "A penny saved is a penny earned."  We ain't savin' nothing are we?  And there's a bunch ot my neighbors ain't earnin' nothin' either.  You can bet this budget thing is gonna come up again, but till then, I am...

Justan O. Geezer

Budget Cuts

Today I gotta tell ya about this neighbor lady I got.  She's a perty young thing.  Reckon you'd never guess she got growed younguns.  And you'd be equal surprised to find out she's a truck drivin' mama.  And that's the truth, Clyde.  She tells me there's a bunch of "down time" away from home cause of them "required rest breaks."  So, she puts the time to good use.

Seems she got tired of hearin' all that bullshit goin' 'round on TV and the internet.  She got real annoyed with stories about the President or Senators or government in general.  So she used that break-time to dig up some real information about what could be done to trim some of the fat in our federal budget.  She sent me some stuff here and even went so far as to say where she got it.  That way, I could see for myself.  Well, here goes neighbor.

    Governemt Salaries:
    US President            $400,000 + $50,000 non-taxable expenses
    Vice-President            $230,700 + $10,000 non-taxable expenses
    Speaker of the House        $223,500
    Majority/Minority Leaders    $193,400
    Senators & Representatives    $174,000
ref: http://usgovinfo.about.com/od/uscongress/a/congresspay.htm

    Average Teachers Salaries:
    Elemtary Teacher         $40,088
    High School Teacher         $43,389
ref: http://www.payscale.com/research/US/All_K-12_Teachers/Salary

    Salaries for Active Duty Soldiers (with 4 years experience)
    PFC (E3)            $23,400
    Sergeant (E5)            $29,380
    Staff Sergeant (E6)        $32,742
    2nd Lieutenant (O1)        $42,030
    Captain (O3)            $59,422
ref: http://www.goarmy.com/benefits/money/basic-pay-active-duty-soldiers.html

So what do think neighbor?  Where should we start cuttin' that budget fat?  'Course who's gonna believe a truck drivin' lady and me?  I am...
Justan O. Geezer

The Blame Game

I hear tell them Chinese been blamin’ us for all the world’s money problems. And now that we got our nose lowered a notch, they got more ammunition for playing the blame game.  They say our dollar ain’t worth a yuan. (Sorry Sonny, but if you ain’t groaning, go google it.)

Well I gotta tell ya neighbor, I don’t think I’m the only one that’s plum tired of this here blame game.  Over there in Washington, we got grown people actin’ like 5 year olds. And I do mean most of ‘em.  

When previous men got to be the big dog in Washington, they accepted the responsibility that goes with that fancy oval office.  In all my years, I ain’t never heard the President of these United States blame his predecessor like I heard the last couple years.  Now I gotta admit, he don’t normally use George Bush’s name direct.  But he’s spent the last 2-1/2 years repeatin’ over and over things like, “we inherited” this problem or that.  Or “the previous administration” did such and such.  ‘Course the rest of his folks ain’t afraid of blamin’ old George by name. 

Hell, this game has got so bad our debt troubles are getting blamed on them new Republicans that just got elected in the last go-round.   It don’t matter none that they just got there!  Reckon it's their fault the National Debt has rise near 40% in the last 2-1/2 years!  Not only that, but the debt rise 20% in the 2 years ‘fore that!  And that was when Democrats controlled both houses of Congress.  Well, never mind.  I know. That was Bush’s fault.

Lately they been sayin’ the Tea Party is to blame for this credit rating downgrade.  So, let me get this straight, neighbor.  In the last 5 or 6 years, our National Debt has growed near 65%.  The Tea Party has existed for what? 1 or 2 years?  Ain’t that pretty dumb?  Reckon that’d be some of that new math they're using. 

All I gotta say to them folks in Washington is this: accept responsibility and GROW UP, DAMMIT!  Of course nobody listens to me, ‘cause I am…

Justan O. Geezer

The National Debt Joke

I ain’t no math whiz neighbor, but I gotta tell you, them Washington jokers are pullin’ one over on us AGAIN!  Think about it, Cuz.  They’re gonna raise the debt ceiling a couple trillion dollars and then they’re gonna cut spending a couple trillion dollars.  Sounds like a fair deal, don’t it?  Well, you’re wrong, partner.  Dead wrong.

First off, that raising the debt ceiling they been fightin’ over?  They’re plannin’ on spending all that there money in the next year and a half!  Yep.  The one side’s been insisting on the increase being big enough so’s the wheels don’t fall off again before the next election.  So, are they thinkin’ ‘bout you and me or themselves?  What happens after that election?  Just call the local smithy or wainwright?

And that ain’t the half of it.  All them spending cuts?  They’re gonna cut at least as much as they raise their spending.  Right?  Wrong again, Sam.  Them spending cuts is gonna take ten years to get done.  And what "cuts" means ain't that their gonna NOT spend the money.  It means they're cut back on the additional spending they was planning!

Reckon I know enough ‘rithmetic to do this math.  10 years to do the "cuts."  1-1/2 years to spend the same amount of money.  To me, that means an 8-1/2 year problem.  Of course that’s just me and I am…
Justan O. Geezer