Corn Crop Crap

The other day, on one of them "news" shows, I heard this young fella say somethying that bent my ear pretty good.  They called him a government expert, so you know'd right there it was gonna be a lot of bull.  Away, he said, “We are expecting a bumper corn crop this year.  That will really help to keep food prices down while at the same time helping farmers and the economy.”   Now, you know lots of city folk thought that was real good news.  But most my neighbors are just prayin' the yield is gonna be good enough to break.  Truth be told, most of 'em think that fella’s been hiding under some outhouse.

Tell you what I think, friend.  I think that fella is from Rhode Island or somewheres like that and he ain't never seen a farm.  He likely just graduated from one of them Ivy League schools with a degree in Political Science.  And even if he was wet behind the ears, the government hired him as a Public Relations Officer.  In other words, he’d actually believe anything they told him to say.

Somehow, I feel obliged to explain a thing or two to that whipper-snapper (and all them city folk that believe what he said).  First off, corn is that tall, skinny, plant with long pointy leaves and long pod things ‘bout half way up the stalk(that's kinda like a little tree trunk ya know).  And when you look out cross a corn field, you shouldn’t be able to see the other side.  That’s cause a good crop gets to be tall as one of them professional basketball players.  Now them brown and tan colored spots ya see out there?  That’s where corn should be but ain’t cause of all the water that set there all spring.  And them areas that’s kinda yella-green color?  If you look close, there ain't none of them pod things on the stalk.  So that ain’t good either.  You're a smart college boy, so you get the picture.

OK.  Now you city folk can take a ride out the country and go see for yourself.  You know what to look for.  Let me know what you think.  I’ll be right here when you get back.  As always, I am…
Justan O. Geezer